New post, circa May 2013

So most days lately I haven’t felt much like writing. I just turned 30, had some major upheavals, and getting into the swing of new things. Right now, all I want to do is clean out my apartment, hang out with my pets and see some people I haven’t seen in the longest time. Everything has been about change lately, and it has absolutely affected my writing. There’s a loud radio silence where that part of my brain works right now. It’s like my mind is working, but my creativity is not. It’s an all-important time right now, and I’m totally immersed in it.You being to realize what’s important, what’s changing, who around you is growing up right along with you and who is stubbornly not going anywhere. You can’t peak and stay there, you can’t stay forever in your stride and you can’t grow up without leaving something behind.

Of course, being cryptic is so easy in writing, but it allows everything to ultimately have a deeper meaning than what it’s original intentions were. I always wonder if anything I write will ever be too dated to mean anything substantial, but then it occurred to me: everything will always be open up to everyone’s interpretation, and there’s nothing you can do about it. When you want to write, write, and when you can’t, don’t (unless you have to- like for pay, or something). Do what you need to do for you, because every single time in your life is important, whether you know it or not. And be careful- not everything you have today will be with you tomorrow.


Yay, awards season!


Oh yes, I am one of those…I love to watch award shows: the Golden Globes, Oscars, Screen Actors Guild Awards, The Emmys, etc. I’ve seen half of the Oscar nominees for Best Picture: Lincoln, Silver Linings Playbook, Django Unchained and Les Miserables. I think my picks are pretty much in line with most, but here’s what I’m thinking:

Best PictureArgo. I haven’t seen it but I want it to win if only because Ben Affleck didn’t receive an Oscar nomination for Best Director. Usually whoever wins Best Director, their movie wins Best Picture. Who says it isn’t time to break tradition?

Best Actor– Hugh Jackman for Les Miserables. While Daniel Day Lewis was amazing in Lincoln, he just won for There Will Be Blood. He’s one of those actors we can take for granted. He will always put in a good performance. I think it’s time the academy gave someone else a chance. Musicals are Jackman’s forte, and if there’s anytime for him to be nominated (and win), it’s this year.

Best Actress– Jennifer Lawrence for Silver Linings Playbook. I think this is an award meant to go to her for her great potential. There’s something very, very raw about her acting. It’s almost as if she isn’t, and that makes a great actress. I’m sure Jessica Chastain is great in Zero Dark Thirty; I’m just not interested in seeing it. It’ll be between the two of them for sure.

Best Supporting Actor– Robert DeNiro for Silver Linings Playbook. It’s a subtle performance that has as much meaning as anything overwrought ever could. Acting just isn’t about crying, accents and weight gains, you know.

Best Supporting Actress– Anne Hathaway for Les Miserables. C’mon.

And…Best Song will go to Adele, of course. They’ll want to get to award her like every music award out there and the Golden Globes. Best Director will might probably go to David O. Russell for Silver Linings Playbook, if they have any gall to give it Best Picture. Best Animated Feature will go to Brave, of course. That will always go to the most commercially and critically successful, and it’s not like there’s much to choose from.

Aren’t most people who watch award shows kind of experts by now? There’s so much press leading up to every Oscars telecast, and anyone who even casually reads up on it should feel like they know who’s going to win. It doesn’t help that with all the awards that lead up to it help people forecast who wins. At least it’s still fun to act like a know it all about something, especially when it’s something that doesn’t really matter and is totally harmless.

Things I Can Look Forward To In 2013

Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

A typical post- if for no other reason that giving myself something to write. If there’s anything I should do with this blog, it’s post more often. I don’t think I posted ten times last year.

Turning 30– of course. The big one. I’ve yet to decide what I want to actually do. I’ve got a little bit of time, at least.
The return of Community– Finally!! February 7= October 19. If you get that reference, you are pretty awesome.
Vamping up my apartment– It’s time for a change in where I live. I don’t plan on changing where I live, just what it looks like. I’ve been looking at the same decorations for way too long.
Time with friends– I have some friends getting ready for some major awesome things this year. I’m glad to be a part of them. There’s nothing greater than seeing people you care about be super happy.
More music, movies and good television– Just like every year. That’ll never change.

After that it’s a bit up in the air. I’m not planning out much, but looking forward to a lot. If there’s one thing I’m happy about, it’s that there is no Presidential election this year. Two years of one is enough. Anyone up for anything big? I’d love to see some comments.

Happy New Year


Every new beginning deserves some recognition of some sort, and even though we all recognize January and the potential of a new year, that doesn’t meant it’s not worth noting. We all have to start somewhere and make a conscious effort to begin anew. And whether you like it or not, new times are always coming. 2012 went by too quickly, and I didn’t accomplish much. I wrote, edited and got my name on a back cover, yes, but I didn’t necessarily venture out into anything new.  I got preoccupied with the mundane, the necessary and not the fun. But it’s a new time.

Rather than simply list resolutions or explaining why I’m against them or any similar argument seems moot at this point. I just want to try things and get away from my norm. That’s not to say I’m going to head off to Fiji and completely disconnect. I just want something in my life to be new. I’m months away from thirty, and now’s a good time as any to start fresh. I’d like some change in scenery, more varied company, and more time around people who give a damn.

Let it be known that I’m not interested in attaining the approval of those that can’t be bothered. What people forget is that noone is as naive or ignorant or unknowing as you assume and unless you want to end up alone forever, get your head of out where it doesn’t belong.  We all move beyond pettiness. We all grow up sometime. Eventually. Perhaps the problem is is that everything not decidedly concrete is subjective, and we spend so much time speculating and gossiping that we ignore progress and growth. Perhaps we’d rather assume everyone stays the same and make ourselves feel better by promoting our betterness and dismissing others’. Perhaps we all need to relax and give others’ the benefit of the doubt. This world would be a world of better if it gave more of a chance.

So here’s to growing up, not caring what others think, knowing who your true friends are and realizing you have so much going for you. Who wouldn’t be up for that?

See you, Sandy

Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Seeing your home state on television via disaster-oriented marathon is more surreal than anything else. I’m not from the Jersey shore area, but I like any other NJ native I’ve have spent many summer days  along the boardwalks of Seaside and Atlantic City, current mainstays in the news cycle when it isn’t remembering there is an election in a couple of days. I’m closer to NYC, and haven’t had the mess others have been having apart from losing power for a couple of days and not being able to make it to work. I am incredibly lucky. If nothing else, this storm has been an inconvenience for me. I still have my home, access to food, and I never lost my plumbing. Too many people had it much worse than I did. I didn’t anticipate the amount of damage the storm cause- I don’t think anyone really did. It was a dark, gloomy weekend before the storm, and I spent the day the storm hit wondering when I’d lose power. It went at 7 in the evening that Monday and didn’t come back until early Friday morning. The days went by fast, and it felt like a pretty long weekend.

When I ventured out of town, however, I got to see some real distress. I saw trees through houses and cars, endless lines of people waiting for gas, a grocery store stripped of essentials with closed off refrigerators with “Do Not Buy” warnings taped to the doors. People walked around dazed and tired, not knowing what to do. When you spend days without power and hear of looting going on in towns around you, you get nervous. So far, so safe. My town enforced a temporary curfew- who could do much around town in sheer darkness, anyway? I can report that drivers around here were super courteous on the roads which made getting around a lot easier and safer than it could have been without any street lights and not enough cops around to direct every road.

So now everyone’s in clean up and recovery mode. I’ve heard many stores about friends and relatives of friends being displaced and losing everything. Ever wake up to find fish in your basement? When’s the last time you watched your cars float away? Ever walk around and die from electrocution when walking into a puddle? Right now is all about getting back to normalcy: back to work, back to running errands and back to living our lives. With word of a possible Nor’easter hitting us this next week, we’re all a little uneasy. Who knows? We have lived through them before, and hopefully this is less daunting than it seems. If you can, donate to the Red Cross. Donate something. Show compassion to others. Not too far from me, there are people who will have to forget Christmas this year. There are people who have to rebuild every bit of their lives. We have our lives, our health and our future. That’s what counts.

Giving up on hating flash-in-the-pans

When I was a teenager, I remember hating The Macarena. Everything about it seemed trite, silly and not worth remembering. Another dance craze, really? I knew it’d go the way of Achy Breaky Heart before it and go as fast as it came. I was never into that sort of thing- liking silly little pop songs that had no problem staying entrenched in your memory for days on end. If everyone else liked them, I always had to come up with a reason not to. I always prided myself in liking a whole variety of music, being more musically open than others, and looking back, I really wasn’t musically open at all. I mean, I was open, but  I just wasn’t exposed to much as I am now.

My music snobbery certainly wasn’t what I thought it was. Where I thought that listening to Tori Amos was as estrogen-fueled as there was to go, it was years before I encountered Liz Phair, PJ Harvey, Patti Smith or Kate Bush. I used to spend hours listening to Fleetwood Mac’s The Dance when I should have been listening to Rumors on repeat. Listening to a different radio station doesn’t actually make you a music snob- it doesn’t make you anything, actually. We all ultimately have different musical tastes in one way or another. Some are just more obvious.

I almost missed the boat on this one- PSY’s Gangnam Style– a new K-POP classic (stop me if you’ve given K-POP a chance years ago; I know too little of the genre). I honestly only heard this song for the first time yesterday and have since found out it’s been a phenomenon for at least a couple of weeks ago (I’ve long since given up my right to say I’m up on what’s popular). I can’t get it out my head, and that’s okay. It’s nothing but cheesy pop confection, and considering that I don’t spend hours listening to (and/or avoiding) Top 40 radio like I used to, it doesn’t bother me as much as it would have more than a decade ago. I’ve learned that it’s more fun to laugh at the ridiculousness of things than it is to easily dismiss them. It really is no fun to be so negative all the time- especially over pop music.

I’ve come to realize that this blog’s purpose is really my chronicling my getting older. Every so often, I see a sign of it. While it isn’t gray hairs or wrinkles or mortgage payments, it is learning more and more about myself and noticing new ways to look at things. Music has always been a major part of my life, as it is for so many people. Of course a realization of my adulthood would be something music-related, right? It is better to enjoy things. Everything goes a lot quicker than you think, so there’s almost no reason to really hate anything. Enjoy what you’ve got and what you have, because there is always going to be someone who thinks they’re too good to listen to that cheesy little pop song you’re getting a kick out of. Bully for them. Pop music is meant to be fun. Have it once in a while. I am.

Getting older, wiser and smarter

Mmmm…brilliant. I’ve found myself feeling my age. I’m 29 years old, making the home stretch to my thirties. I’ve found myself on the harder side of getting older, the one where you can only relate so much to those that are younger. Ideas are different, priorities pretty much polarizing and my thoughts nowhere near their own. I’m at the age (there’s a cliche right there) where I don’t need to be entertained, and I’ve always been very much a homebody. That really isn’t great for those that are more extroverted than I am.

You have to realize that not everyone’s going to like you. It now has to be about realizing where I was and who I was when I was younger and not just assuming bad things about the other person. Getting older means getting a bit worldlier, even if it’s not so obvious to everyone else. There’s a lot of introspective thinking and personal realizations involved. And you have to do the work. And also, not everyone wants to hear it. Think about how much you need to say to yourself, and how much you want to to hear it before you share it for others. Don’t forget that not everyone’s on the same page as you, and not everyone cares.

I think because I don’t have children yet I have the time I need to mentally get to where I need to be. I’ve wanted that time. I haven’t been at the place where I wanted to consider parenthood. I still think I need a bit more time- depending on the day, at least. Being self-involved can only go on for so long, so I might as well enjoy it while it lasts. I often worry that everything I write comes across as self-involved and very selfish and maybe even precocious. Everything’s all “me, me, me”….but wouldn’t it be? I don’t have children, and this blog is meant to be personal, if not too personal. I could write about anything I want, right? Maybe my second guessing on how much what I write should be about myself is itself a sign of my growing up. We’ll see. First off is finding a nice way to sync my adulthood with still being and feeling young and having fun while taking on more adult-type aspects and responsibilities.I mean, where’s the fun in getting older if I don’t enjoy it, right?