Wednesday night, warmer NJ

Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons user USDA Historical Photos

As I’m sitting in my living room watching a years old Sex and the City rerun, I’m remembering the idealization of being a young woman in the city, varied working hours, enjoying my twenties. I am now 27, closer to 28 than I am to 26, and closer to 30 than I am to 25. Watching a rerun of a show I used to watch when I was in college makes me remember how I was always eager to get older, like many young women. Now I think I’m at a point where rather than rush age, I concentrate on where I’m actually going.
Another realization: I’m so over it. I’m over many of the things that have characterized my young adulthood and left me feeling like I have to explain my life away. Your twenties are a tumultuous time, filled with questions and mistakes about a adulthood, fighting to make people see you as an adult, and getting used to the fact that you have to take care of yourself. I’m tired of explaining that I’m 27 rather than 17, and that if I don’t turn to someone for help on any and every whim, it’s not that I don’t care for you, it’s that I’m learning how to live my life on my own. I’m an intense homebody, preferring quiet company rather than a loud bar, my own mind other than a bar tab. I’m no partier or anything (not that there’s anything wrong with having fun, of course) and I do spend a lot of time alone. I am a writer, and it’s part of my job. I excel at it when I get the chance to look at things in retrospect. Building a successful writing career means I have to discipline myself into a sometimes very solitary life. Frankly, I also write a hell of a lot better than I argue and converse. This is what I do. So if I don’t talk to you for a while, it’s not that I don’t care; I’m just preoccupied. You shouldn’t take it personal.
Turning 27 has been especially integral. For me, the age always signaled official adulthood. I don’t know why, but the age of 27 always meant being a grown up to me. It’s also the year where I am finally going after the career I’ve always wanted. There is no putting anything off anymore. It’s about beginning your life, and working towards your future. There is no settling for everyone else’s standards, simply doing things because they worked for others. Now, it’s doing what can and has worked for me. What the hell, right? Working an office job for someone else’s company certainly won’t make me rich anytime soon. And I couldn’t be happier. Not just taking a job for the sake of having a job feels so much better than settling. Now, I make my own hours. If I want to wake up at 5 am and work, I can. If I’d rather work late into the night, I can do that to. No boss giving me a hard time, no one else’s deadline than my own. There’s a great sense of pride in making yourself do what you have to do. You need that discipline to provide for yourself.  And I’d like to think that I’m doing a great job.

I’m also learning how to work out my home working life with my at home domestic life. I don’t have a home office; I have a computer on top of a coffee table in my living room on which I work, a printer resting underneath it. I will get a desk, I swear! I just haven’t yet. It’s not my favorite arrangement, but it’ll have to do for now. Damn you, responsible spending! I’ve put off buying the desk I want because I want to have the necessary savings set aside first. Yes, I truly am an adult now, when I can prioritize just about everything.  One future imminent project: shampooing my carpet. I have pets. It’s about time I learn how to do that anyway.  I also have to decide a business name for my writing business, and file the necessary paperwork to make that official. Oh dear: business-lady me. There’s an idea I feel so removed from, yet know it’s right in front of me.  After that, it’s all on: writing as a writer, and doing business as a businesswoman. As much as I am ready for it, it still feels pretty surreal.

Disclaimer: Blogs are written for the most part to be self-centered diatribes written by people who actually think people care what they have to say. I totally know this. I also know I need to write all the time, and sometimes writing something particularly self-centered gets me started on my other work.  Being that this blog is free, who cares if you read it or not? I still get to do what I want to do, and no one either benefits or gets hurt by my bs. So for those that make fun of people that blog about themselves, I say “yeah, uh huh. You’re just as self-centered as I am, just too lazy to take the time to write about yourself. And if you’re taking the time to read this, you like blogs anyway”. Just felt the need to say that. Blogging about trains of thought can seem so pointless, but it can be oh so fun. Talk about the new diary.


My reluctant acceptance of winter

Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

As everyone around me worries about this endless amount of snow that has barreled my area of NJ for the past month (I myself am wary of a promised ice storm tomorrow), I’m honestly indifferent to it all at this point. I am a lifelong snow, winter and cold weather hater who has accepted that come late October comes cold weather, and this East Coast girl might as well just get used to it. I don’t plan on moving to the West Coast anytime soon, nor do I plan on never leaving the house.  Back in college, I used to have to wait a while in the cold to catch the train to get home from work and when it was cold, having to wait twenty minutes at a time sometimes got old really quick. It made me miserable. It also left me more tolerant of the cold. Nowadays, it’s not too cold for me if I can’t stand going ten minutes without putting my hood on. It’s not too cold if I can’t see my breath. Also, I primarily work from home now, so I have no right to complain when I don’t have to deal with the cold (or snow) so often.

It can feel claustrophobic, of course, to be kept inside due to being snowed in so often. It’s not fun to feel like you can’t go anywhere. I just honestly find it so annoying when people complain it’s too cold the second it gets cold; embrace the season and the area you’re in. If you live in an area where it gets cold, don’t act surprised when the temperatures drop. Don’t get made when you have to pull out your winter coat from the bottom of your closet. It could always be worse. Us lucky souls in NJ haven’t had to deal with so much snow in recent years; this season (hopefully) is a fluke. I’ll take a pain in the neck winter once every so many years if it means I never have to deal with a natural disaster. Take the mudslides in Australia, hurricanes along the Gulf Coast and traumatizing earthquakes- it could always be worse. We are, in fact, pretty spoiled. No matter how much it snows, our living and work situations aren’t usually affected. We get off pretty easy.

As I type this, I also remember I have to leave the house early tomorrow, train permitting. I just want to safely get to where I have to go without injury. Of course, it all depends on how the trains are running. I am reluctant to have to walk in the freezing rain to get to the train, but thankfully, my coat has a hood and I don’t have a long walk.  I also rely on the ever-so-reliable PATH trains and don’t have to rely on the problem-plagued  NYC MTA trains too often.  All in all, I should be ok. Hey, at least I don’t work outside, right? It is indeed all good. And when I get home, after my dogs are walked I’m ok. I can hide out from the weather for the rest of the day.

One of my favorite things about cold weather is the excuse to consume large amounts of hot chocolate, which I love. I love that as much as I love tea. I don’t like my sinus infections and post nasal drips I get in the winter, but tea (as well as Snapple) help put the kibbosh on them.  I am also a HUGE fan of Christmas, and I also love, love, love the fact that it’s easier to dress warm in the winter than it is to dress cool in the summer. I love that I can wear boots. I love that my dogs get so excited to see snow. And I love that winter eventually ends. And then I can get back to wearing t-shirts outside, wearing flip flops and avoiding the sun. When all you have to worry about is what to wear when you go out, you really do have it made. I just wish more people knew that.